Inspired by Aggie Kesler’s post ( https://aggiekesler.wordpress.com/2021/03/22/no-more ), I used a prompt from a book by Natalie Goldberg. The prompt is “No More- What do you no longer have? Go for ten minutes.”
I no longer am tormented by extreme symptoms of bipolar disorder. Although I’ve been told that I’ll never get rid of the illness, I have learned to manage it with medication, therapy, and life skills. Every day, I wake up grateful that I feel fine, not stuck in a crushing, relentless depression nor caught in a whirlwind of manic thoughts and activities. After decades of severe mood swings, I have become calmer and more content than I ever thought was possible. I celebrate my sanity every day.
I no longer run. I miss this terribly. I was an athlete, playing sports from childhood through college, and continuing for many years after college. Throughout the years, I have won many awards and honors for competitions, including being in my college’s Athletic Hall of Fame. I have run 5K races and marathons and everything in between. Also, I have coached athletes for decades. Through it all, I have jogged, run, or sprinted almost every day, unless I was injured. However, now my knees can’t tolerate running. I have had three knee surgeries that let me continue for many years, but now I have too much damage to proceed to run. So, I bicycle daily (indoors or out) and lift weights to stay in shape, and that’s acceptable, but I rarely do it with the same joy and freedom that I felt when I ran. On my best days of running, I felt like I was dancing. Of course, other times, I felt that it was just plain hard work. Still, I miss it.
I no longer am angry at my ex-husband. (Today would have been our anniversary.) He made mistakes, I made mistakes, and despite getting counseling and trying to change, we failed to stay together. I wish him well.